I like to think it a success when the cops are called
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
