I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
they're like a gay fantastic four
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
