Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
