how can u be prego again
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
