i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
