right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Randomize
