I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Randomize
