Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
