I hate all girls vehemently.
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
i would punch a child for taco bell
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
