K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
