Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
