I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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