remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
