I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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