Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
