there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
