I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
