I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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