he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
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