I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
