She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Randomize
