I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Randomize
