Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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