Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
operation harelip BJ is a go
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize