What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
