everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
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