hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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