WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize