Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Randomize
