I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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