We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Everything about him screamed your future.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Randomize
