Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
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