I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
