i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Come share oat with me in your robe
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
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