I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
