I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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