....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
