Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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