i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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