A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
