you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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