Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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