Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
