i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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