hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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