Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
