My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
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