oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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