you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
