we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
