I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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