dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
