I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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