Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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