Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
