Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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