Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
