i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Randomize
