my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Randomize
