Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
