I'm laying in your front yard are you home
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
