So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
We're using joints as your birthday candles
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
