My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
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