If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
