Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
