Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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