Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
