Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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