If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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