one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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