Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
