I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize
