Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
