508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
