Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
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