this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
